A malaphor is a mixed idiom or mixed metaphor (or to use the more formal term, catachresis). It is a portmanteau word formed by combining malapropism (the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding word; for example “butt naked” rather than “buck naked” or “for all intensive purposes” rather than “for all intents and purposes” ) and metaphor (a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable; for example: “walking on thin ice”). A malapropism is also known as an eggcorn, a word coined by Geoffrey Pullum, a linguist (based on the misuse of “egg corn” instead of “acorn”). Most often, people muddle idioms in speech and since spellcheckers don’t catch these pesky things, they slip into text and print. Here are some common malaphors sure to delight:
A loose tongue spoils the broth.
Don’t judge a book before it’s hatched.
Every cloud has a silver spoon in its mouth.
From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.
Going to hell in a hen basket.
He is a little green behind the ears.
He received a decease and desist order.
He was watching me like I was a hawk.
He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.
He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.
He’s like a duck out of water.
He’s not the one with his ass in a noose.
I can read him like the back of my book.
I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.
I hope he gets his curve ball straightened out.
I shot the wind out of his saddle.
It sticks out like a sore throat.
It will be a walk in the cake.
It’s all moth-eared.
It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.
It’s like looking for a needle in a hayride.
It’s not rocket surgery.
It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.
It’s time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table.
I wouldn’t be caught dead there with a ten-foot pole.
I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.
I’ll get it by hook or ladder.
People are dying like hotcakes.
Take a flying hike.
That train has left the frying pan.
The crutch of the matter.
The fan is gonna hit the roof.
These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.
They’re diabolically opposed.
Until the cows come home to roost.
Until the pigs freeze over.
We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.
We have to get all our ducks on the same page.
We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.
You can’t change the spots on an old dog.
You can’t teach a leopard new spots.
You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
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For further reading: Going to Hell in a Hen Basket: An Illustrated Dictionary of Modern Malapropisms by Robert Rubin