“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday,” noted comedian and talk show host Johnny Carson. “People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year — and then discover once a year is way too often.” Which is why you need some for of levity to get through the day. Before you reach for a bottle of Xanax, here are some punny jokes to help you get through this stressful day.
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play.
What sound does a turkey’s iPhone make?
Wing, Wing, Wing.
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google!
What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving?
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
What did the father say when his family told him to stop telling jokes at Thanksgiving?
“You can’t expect me to quit cold turkey.”
What do you call it when you serve tofu for Thanksgiving.
What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
What happened when the turkey got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what do you call a little one?
What did one sweet potato say to the other potato?
“I yam excited about Thanksgiving. How about you?”
Why should you never set a turkey next to the dessert?
Because he will gobble it up.
Why can’t a turkey attend church?
They can’t help using fowl language.
Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from?
Why did they let the turkey join the rock band?
He had the drumsticks.
What sound does a turkey that walks with a limp make?
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
What kind of tan does a pilgrim get when they visit the beach?
What would you get if your crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
“If your father could see you now, he’d be turning over in his gravy!”
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
Why shouldn’t you stare at the turkey dressing?
Because it will make him blush.
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